Growing Up
by StOnE CoLd SaRaH
Summary: Matt does some writing while 'Damnit' plays and THIS is what happens. R&R please!


Matt Hardy's thoughts (over a year span) First, his break up letter to Lita (isn't that called a Dear John letter or something? Oh well) And what he writes as Blink 182s song "Damnit" plays in the background. Then his diary entry a year later. I own nothing. Blink own the song. Vince owns the characters. And the muses own my ideas. Don't sue! Rock on (and review)!  
  
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It's all right to tell me / what you think about me  
I won't try to argue / or hold it against you  
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Come on Lita, you can tell me. Talk to me! I won't hold it against you. I can see what's going on. I can see what you think of me. You know perfectly well that I have a soft spot for women folk. Not like Jeff's and Jericho's soft spot, but you know how my Southern up bringing gets the best of me sometimes. You knew that when we started this relationship. And now we're ending.   
  
  
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I know that you're leaving / you must have your reasons  
The season is calling / your pictures are falling down  
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I'm writing this and I'm going to give it to Molly Holly when I see her in the hall. Since you won't return my calls, or even look at me when we see each other in the back. You look away. So I guess this is the end. I was hoping that we wouldn't end like this. I hoped we would have stayed together forever. But alas, you are gone. Maybe with Jeff or Shane or even Jericho. I don't care anymore. I don't know anymore. The only thing I know is, all of the pictures of you and me are gone. I got rid of them.   
  
  
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The steps that I retrace / The sad look on your face  
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Some days I think about what went wrong. For a couple of days, that's all I though about. All I can think about is me catching Stacy Keibler. I couldn't help it. She's a defenseless little girl. So different then you. But, I couldn't explain that too you. When you saw what I did, that look, the sad look you gave me. I knew then and there. I knew that we were done.   
  
  
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Well I guess this is growing up  
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Well, I guess I've learned. I've grown. Even though I am a gentlemen first and foremost, the next relationship I will have to be a boyfriend first, gentlemen later. I know I haven't done enough to prove my trust of you. I get jealous way too easily, but then the one time when you were jealous of me, I got angry. There were many times I got jealous and mad because of you. Latino Heat, Shane Helms, my brother, even Jericho. But you never got mad at me for pointing the finger at you. You were the bigger man (figuratively speaking of course). But now I've done something to get *you* jealous and mad and pissed at me, and I blew it off as nothing. I realize now that I've been looking back, that it was kind of a bad situation to be in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry also that you and I are so broken apart that we can never be repaired.   
  
Goodbye.   
  
Love,   
Matthew Hardy  
  
  
  
::A YEAR LATER::  
  
  
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And maybe I'll see you / at a movie sneak preview  
you'll show up and walk by / on the arm of that guy  
And I'll smile and you'll wave / we'll pretend it's okay  
The charade it won't last / when he's gone I won't come back  
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Dear Diary:  
I saw her today. Yes *her*. My ex, Lita. Jeff and I went out to see the newest action film and there she was with a guy. Not just any guy. Adam. That was a shock. But anyway, they were walking hand in hand. She waved to me, and I nodded, then went back to my business. That was it. She's been out of my life for almost a year now and I don't want her back. I love her still, but I know our relationship would not be healthy at all. I also know that if Adam dumps her, I won't take her back. I guess I really have grown up.   
  
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